o, my balls and my word!

For posterity and giggles, I give you this quite good Craigslist post that originated in my ‘hood, Crown Heights.
who put the dead bird in my mailbox? - w4m
Date: 2008-04-20, 12:56PM EDT
a) how did you get into my mailbox in the first place, it is locked
b) did you kill the bird
c) it died [...]